Cruising through the Internet is one of my favorite ways of finding ideas for ElvisBlog, and I have a special joy in finding the oddball websites with Elvis content. Over the years, I have found enough to do three previous columns titled, “Odd Elvis Websites.”
That’s why I was so happy when I stumbled upon a 1997 WashingtonPost.Com column by Andrea Basora, written to commemorate the 20th Anniversary of Elvis’ passing. It was titled “Elvis in the Machine,” and Ms. Basora asserted that anything was possible with Elvis online. She was impressed because there were hundreds of Elvis websites. Eleven years later, there are thousands.
Ms. Basora organized her recommended Elvis sites into four groups: “The Basics”, “The Absurdists,” “The Truly Weird,” and “The Music, Movies and Memorabilia.” That’s right; fully half of the Elvis sites recommended by the WashingtonPost.in this article were either “Absurdist” or “The Truly Weird.’ I knew checking this out was going to be fun.
My first impulse was to see how many of these odd Elvis websites are still in business. Which ones had the legs to make it from 1997 to 2008? Here’s a look at the winners and losers along with some of the original commentary in the 1997 article. Then, I add my own observations.
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The Sites We Lost Along the Way
Elvis Shot JFK: For the conspiracists out there.
I’m glad this one is gone. It was over the line. I can’t believe that the Washington Post had so little taste and mentioned it
The Strange Case of the Missing Elvis Diaries: A novel idea – an on-line serialized mystery featuring Jeff Parrish on the trail of Elvis Presley’s legendary lost journals. A “tale of blue suede and bullets, greed and grease.
How about records and robbers? Jumpsuits and jailbirds? I tried to Google this to see if it had a new URL. There was one link, but it wouldn’t open. I wonder if the story was any good.
Elvis Ain’t Dead / The Elvis Spotters Page: Contribute your own Elvis-sighting experience, or read through other people’s visions of The King.
Even if this “Elvis Sightings” website has died, several more have sprung up. I don’t waste any time on them. However, you do have to admit that “ELVIS Ain’t Dead” is a pretty catchy title.
Vote for Elvis: The site that asks: “Why settle for a Prime minister when you can elect a King?” Of Canada, no less.
I Googled this one, but 13 sites have the phrase in their title, now. So, it’s impossible to know if one was the 1997 original. My favorite of these new titles is “Disco Elvis / Show Your Support and Vote For Elvis.” Disco Elvis??
The Oracle of the Plywood Elvis: Unearthed near the quaint alpine village of Belgrade, Mont., the Plywood Elvis supposedly “provides guidance on topics of personal concern to those who seek its powers. Click on the Elvis image for useful advice along the lines of: “You are fluent in the language of futility” or “You can never have too many sweaters.”
I remember this site. I was on it at work a few times six or seven years ago. At the end of the day when you were totally wiped out, you could kill time until 5PM by playing on this one. Just click on the plywood Elvis image and get fortune-cookie-like messages. Totally stupid, but I’m sorry it’s gone.
The Sites That Are Still Around
The Oracle of Elvis: By the creator of The Oracle of Bacon (more commonly known as Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon), the best way to ferret out those top secret relationships to The King.
The link in the original article went nowhere. I thought, “That’s too bad. I would have liked to play Six Degrees of Elvis.” So, rather than give up, I Googled that name, and the site is still on the net. The single page site looks like it had no additional posts over the years. A one-shot-deal that has just floated along in the web all these years. Unfortunately, I didn’t have the time or patience to figure out any of the fifteen connections you could pick. Not even all the actresses that need just 2 degrees to get to Elvis. For example, if you click Cher, all you had to come up with was the two actors who starred together in a movie, and each of them also starred with either Elvis or Cher. If you think you’d like to play, check it out here.
Gimme That Dang Pill: A shockwave game that provides the opportunity to help Elvis from himself. Your task? To flush down the toilet before Elvis can eat them. Your reward? A fried peanut butter sandwich.
You can’t get to this site anymore by clicking on the link in the WashingtonPost.Com column. But, a quick search found it at another URL. Like Six degrees of Elvis, this appears to be a one-time post that has prevailed in spite of its despicable concept. It is a brain-dead game where you drag pill bottles and large capsules over a toilet and drop them in, accompanied by Elvis grunting “yeah” and “oh baby”. No matter what you score, a message tells you’ve won a fried peanut-butter sandwich. They couldn’t even get that right. Elvis ate peanut butter and ‘nanner sandwiches. I don’t like this site and wish you would stay away from it.
Americans for Cloning Elvis (ACE): Just like it sounds; a petition – via e-mail – for the cloning of Elvis.
Apparently, this site that has switched URLs over the years. It is somewhat interesting for a couple of minutes, but I find it hard to believe over two-and-a-half million people have signed the petition. If you want to add your name to the list, click here. If you are really motivated you can contribute $5 to the cause.
The First Church of Jesus Christ, Elvis: For true Elvis worshippers… In case you had any doubts that Elvis represents the second coming, check out some of the Elvis as Jesus parallels, such as… Jesus is the Lord’s shepherd / Elvis dated Cybill Shepherd.
This one is still around, but it appears to be another one-page deal that has nothing new added over the years. In fact, maybe some things have removed, because I could not find the Elvis as Jesus parallels. There are two altered pictures that I have seen elsewhere and some text about Elvis written in the style of Biblical passages. Not a very impressive website.
Disglaceland – The Home of Tim-Elvis: A humorous site that is actually full of useful information… don’t miss The Showroom which features photographs of Friz-Elvis, the first known Budgie King.
Well, we’ll never learn who Friz-Elvis is. This site still comes up, but it has been inactive for eight months. Tim-Elvis made his last post on November 28, 2007, and he called it “Fading Away.” Very apropos. Unfortunately, the archives go back only to 2004. How do you like this sub-title: “Disgraceland, the cybermansion of Tim-Elvis. It’s where I ramble on about Elvis, his fans, zucchini, and a variety of related subjects.”
I scanned a lot of his posts, and Tim stopped writing about Elvis a few years ago. Then he just stopped writing altogether. I feel sad for Tim-Elvis, and I hope he won’t mind if I borrow something from him. When I write the last ElvisBlog column, it will be titled, “Fading Away.” Don’t worry, that won’t be for a long time.
In the future we will look at WashingtonPost.Com’s recommended sites in the categories of “The Basics” and “The Music, Movies and Memorabilia.” I hope they made better choices than they did with this bunch of losers.
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