ELVIS COMMENTARY MINI-NUGGETS — # 11

<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = “urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office” /> 


The Missing Elvis Star:  There is a website where an aspiring screenwriter can post a synopsis of his script in hope that an agent or movie producer will take an interest in it.  Recently posted on www.newenglandfilm.com was The Missing Elvis Star, by Scott Andrews.  Here is his plot summary:
“Elvis Presley’s Star is stolen off the famous Hollywood Walk of Fame by three French tourists on the 4th of July.  The President issues a state of emergency and makes it a priority for his Presidential legacy to recapture the missing Star.  The Star is found with Elvis Presley alive.  Both are brought back to America with a five-million person parade in D.C. and Hollywood, with 80 year old Elvis replanting his own Star on the Walk of Fame.”
Writer Andrews calls his creation an action, comedy, block-buster hit movie.  Sounds like a long shot to me.  I wonder who could play 80 year old Elvis.

 

Calvin and Hobbes and Elvis:  Hopefully you are familiar with the comic strip “Calvin and Hobbes.”  In an old strip, everyone in Calvin’s class at school was assigned to read and summarize a newspaper article.  What article did Calvin pick?  It was the tabloid classic, “Space Alien Weds Two-Headed Elvis Clone.”  I mentioned this title in Mini-Nuggets – 9, and I never thought it would appear again.  I guess you never know when it comes to Elvis.

 

Minus-Zero on The Elvis Scale:  During the 1992 presidential election, some of the press corps started comparing Bill Clinton to Elvis.  Clinton wore black sunglasses and played “Heartbreak Hotel” on sax on the Arsinio Hall Show, and his campaign plane was nicknamed “Air Elvis.”  One of his opponents in the primary was Massachusetts Senator Paul Tsongas.  Tsongas was a much duller personality than Clinton, and columnist Molly Ivins rated Tsongas “minus-zero on the Elvis scale.”  So, which of today’s candidates do you think rates highest on the Elvis scale?  For my money, it is Sarah Palin.  What do you think?

 

Back When They Were Called Elvis Impersonators:  Now that Graceland has conferred legitimacy on Elvis Tribute Artists, and the best of them are truly fine showmen, there is much more respect given to this growing group of entertainers.  Surprisingly, a recent article in http://entertainment.timesonline.co.uk stated that there were between 37 and 150 working Elvis Impersonators back in 1977 when he died.  Now they say there are over 30,000 ETAs in the US alone.

 

My Pastor Told Me This One:  The Pastor at my church has a great sense of humor, and he often tells jokes.  The other day, he called to tell me he heard a cool answer to the Jeff Foxworthy line: “You know you are a redneck when….”  It was: “when you have an Elvis Jello mold.”  I resisted telling Pastor that I didn’t find that too funny.  However, consider this.  EPE has licensed all sorts of weird Elvis stuff, but I have never seen a Jello mold shaped like Elvis’ face.  I hope I never do.

 

Letterman Top Ten List:  David Letterman has included Elvis in his famous Top Ten Lists at least three times that I am aware of.  Thoughtful reader Arleen Scharf e-mailed me this one:  Top Ten Most Polite Ways to Say Your Zipper is Down.  #6 was “Elvis is leaving the building.”  I like that much more than #1, which was “I always knew you were crazy, but now I can see your nuts.”

 

Pappy and Elvis:  In 1966, Warner Brothers released a Merrie Melodies cartoon titled “The Dixie Fryer.”  Mel Blanc provided the voices of main character Foghorn Leghorn as well as two chicken hawks named Pappy and Elvis.  Foghorn travels to the deep-south and encounters the chicken hawks who crave a delicious chicken dinner.  He needn’t worry.  The chicken hawks are portrayed as ignorant rednecks, and Elvis is a total air-head.  Many years later, the PC police at the Nickelodeon network edited out a scene with a squirrel rifle and another with “dueling pistols.”  I wish they had also changed the idiot chicken hawk’s name to something besides Elvis.

 

Cher Turned Down Elvis?:  Website www.pcpages.com/elvistimes/news.htm recently mentioned an interview in which singer/actress Cher talked about Elvis.  She said she once received a phone call from Elvis, and he expressed how much he admired Cher and her music.  Then he invited her to spend the weekend with him.  Cher said she just didn’t have the nerve to do it and turned Elvis down.  Now, she says she couldn’t believe she did that.  I don’t believe it either.  Cher had a chance to go from Sonny Bono to Elvis, but she turned it down.  No way.

 

(C)  2008   All rights Reserved   Philip R Arnold, Original Elvis Blogmeister   www.ElvisBlog.net

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *