Elvis fans seem to be interested in every facet of his life, including some pretty obscure ones. So, what do these folks do to satisfy their curiosity? They Google it, of course. When the Google page opens up with a list of the top ranked websites covering the subject, hopefully one of them will have the information you search for. Apparently, ElvisBlog is now a favored source for many Elvis-related topics, including some pretty weird ones. I became aware of this when someone linked to ElvisBlog from a Google search on “Elvis pimples.”
I can’t imagine why anyone would even care about Elvis’ pimples, but somebody did. And guess where ElvisBlog showed up on the Google list? #2, beaten by a site with this news release, “National Pimple Center To Stage The Largest Charity Show In Singapore Next Year.” Wow, who knew there’s a National Pimple Center? One of the scheduled entertainers at the show was an Elvis Tribute Artist, so Google was merely connecting the two words pimple and Elvis, even though they were not used together in the story. Dead end.
On the other hand, ElvisBlog had a legitimate reference to Elvis pimples. In a June 1, 2008, column titled “Never Before Told Elvis Secrets,” I made fun of a 1977 Midnight Globe story that quoted Elvis’ stepbrother Rick Stanley. One of his so-called revelations was this, “Until he was well into his 20s, Elvis had a terrible skin problem – just like a lot of young people. Pimples were his curse. He even had them on his back.” I hope that information was of some value to the person who Googled.
From that point on, I saved other strange Elvis search topics on Google. Here a few of the more interesting ones.
“Elvis impersonator movie where lady meets guy who looks like Elvis and she has a kid and she goes away with Elvis”: This one certainly gets the award for the longest Google search topic about Elvis. Does anybody know what movie she is describing? I sure don’t. ElvisBlog came up #1 on the results, but simply because it had used more of the key words in that long string than any other site did. It doesn’t look like anything that Google found solved the mystery.
“is Elvis' body preserved?: ElvisBlog could do no better than #8 on this one, but that’s fine by me. Google simply found the words body and Elvis in the same article. However, Elvis World-Japan actually got into the topic. I was pleased with their quote, “Graceland CEO Jack Soden said there are no cryogenically preserved tissue samples of Elvis.” But, then they went on to discuss other possible ways to clone Elvis. No! Please, please, no!
“Elvis fly sandwich”: This probably shouldn’t be mentioned here, because it is not about a sandwich made of flies, as I originally thought. It just sounded like that. It was actually about the Fool’s Gold Sandwich, which Elvis flew from Memphis to Denver to get. Google got it right, when the top of their list was the April 15, 2007, ElvisBlog article about this unique Elvis story. The person who Googled this one didn’t have to go anywhere else to get the information they wanted.
“Elvis Presley chest hair”: Sadly, nine different websites beat out ElvisBlog on the Google results for this one. #3 was a site with an article titled, “Did Tom Jones Insure His Chest Hair?” (The answer is yes – for $25 million.) The ElvisBlog article on the Google list appeared just two weeks ago as part of the bare-chested Elvis story.
“Speedway, Viva Las Vegas and Easy Come, Easy Go, all have something in common what is it?” : Was the person who Googled that trying to get the answer to a trivia question that stumped her, or was she trying to stump Google? If the latter, it worked. None of the sites on the Google list gave the answer. They were there because they had seven or eight of the words somewhere in their contents. ElvisBlog had ten of the words to rank #1. Does anyone know the answer to this question?
“diabetic Elvis impersonators”: Why would anyone care? And Google couldn’t find anything to cover the subject. However, the site at the top of their list had an article with an interesting title, “Calling all Elvis and Popeye Impersonators.” I had to read that one to find out about Popeye impersonators.
“what Elvis and Ann Margaret movie was translated into Italian?”: Well, let’s see… There are so many choices. I’ll just have to make a guess. How about Viva Las Vegas? Score another #1 for ElvisBlog with the March 23, 2008 article titled Delinquente del Rock & Roll, which covered the titles of all of Elvis’ movies on Italian DVDs.
“Ancient Egyptian Boonta”: Sometimes when I see these search subjects, I try to guess what ElvisBlog articles the words have been pulled from. Ancient Egyptian was easy; it came from my review of the movie Bubba Ho-Tep. Boonta stumped me. It turns out the Boonta Eve Pod Race from The Phantom Menace was the source for half the photos when we compared a Star Wars race with the Elvis race in Viva Las Vegas. There really was a Boonta in ancient Etheopia, and it is covered by several sites that ranked ahead of ElvisBlog.
“black midget Elvis”: Apparently there is no such thing. Many sites, including ElvisBlog, made reference to both Black Elvis and Midget Elvis, but apparently no enterprising black midget has tried to become an Elvis Tribute Artist. Will someone please step forward and fill this gaping void?
“what color pants did Elvis split while recording ‘Heartbreak Hotel’?”: Another attempt to stump Google, and it worked. There was nothing on their list that led to an answer. To my knowledge, the only time Elvis split his pants was while performing “Poke Salad Annie” and wearing a jumpsuit on March 21, 1976, in Cincinnati. Although this was covered in Elvis Commentary Mini-Nuggets #7, Google missed it. Instead, they found a combination of words from the search topic, including Bill Black’s split from Elvis. I’ll still take the #1 rank on their list, thank you.
“Elvis picking his nose”: We might as well end this column on a high note. Not one choice on the Google list actually addressed this subject. They had references to Elvis, and nose, and picking, but fortunately picking always referred to a guitar. As I said at the beginning, Elvis fans seem interested in knowing about every facet of his life, but I think we’d be OK if we skipped this one.
Well, that covers about half of my list of strange Elvis searches on Google, so I guess someday there will be a Part 2. It occurred to me that maybe some of the folks who did these weird searches and then linked to ElvisBlog may have become regular readers. If so, I hope you didn’t mind me making fun of your stupid search topics.
© 2009 Philip R Arnold, Original Elvis Blogmeister All Rights Reserved www.ElvisBlog.net