Long Lost Elvis Limericks

The inspiration for this blog post comes from www.littlefivers.com.  This site seems to present a continuous assortment of interesting Top Five lists, except that the lists aren’t limited to five.  For example, consider The Top 9 Limericks about Elvis (Part 1) and The Top 8 Limericks about Elvis (Part 2).  These ran back-to-back in early January 2006.  If you want to see the complete rankings and the authors’ names, click on the links above. I found seven of the Elvis limericks interesting and thought they would work better with a picture below each one.

There once was a redneck named Elvis,

Who had a disordered pelvis.

It shuddered and shaked,

And often would quake,

But Sun Records sure knew how to sell this.

Sun Records

.

On “Ed Sullivan,” he took them by storm

And upset the world’s perceived norm.

When he curled up his lip

And swiveled his hip,

He made all the girls feel quite warm.

Girls Reaching for Elvis

.

There once was a man called the king.

He could act, play guitar and could sing.

All the woman would moan,

For that Hound Dog’s bone.

Till he died on the throne, the poor thing.

Toilet Seat Cover

 .

In Vegas, they’re quite an attraction.

Flying Elvi give the crowds satisfaction.

To honor the king,

In their white jumpsuit thing.

Hey, it beats Lisa with Michael Jackson.

Lisa and Michael in Car

.

Under the thumb of Colonel Tom Parker,

Elvis’ life grew only darker.

By the Colonel’s demands,

He would play at the Sands,

Dressed up as a carnival barker.

Col. Parker - Carnival Barker

 .

A King is born from the mist.

Wise men wonder, “Whose child is this?”

Stand up and be saved!

All ye poor and depraved!

Turns out, he’s from Tupelo, Miss.

Tupelo Birthplace at Night

Photo by Tony Stuchbury — http://www.elvispresleyscrapbook.co.uk/

.

I still don’t believe that he’s dead.

Could he really have croaked on the head?

Hey, maybe he’s not!

No proof have I got!

This thought helps me to sleep when in bed.

Elvis in Bed

 .

The King was oft heard to utter,

“I want ‘nanners on fried peanut butter!”

But it left greasy stains,

Clogged up all his veins

And caused his heart to flutter

Peanut Butter and Nanner Sandwich

.

Elvis drove a large, bright, pink Caddy.

Popping pills and smoking a fatty.

Wearing suits that were white,

He shot his TV one night.

He was the original pimp daddy.

Pimp Daddy Elvis

 

The seven limericks above came from the LittleFivers website.  I thought I could do better, so the next three are my attempt to do that.

 

The boy from Memphis could sing,

Soon girls called him “The King.”

He died too young,

The last song was sung,

But the fans kept doing their thing.

Candlelight Vigil

.

Elvis made a lot of dough,

Didn’t keep much of it though.

Colonel Parker’s

50% marker

Came off the top, you know.

Col Parker Looking Bad

.

There once was a singer named Elvis

Who sure could shake his pelvis.

This has to end.

We can’t pretend,

That some other word rhymes with Elvis.

Burning Elvis

 

©  2013    Philip R Arnold, Original Elvis Blogmeister    All Rights Reserved    www.ElvisBlog.net

 

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