The following blog article is coming to you compliments of TheFilmFrontier.com.  Head Blogger Honcho of the site is Tygrrius, and he is also an Elvis fan.  Only a man with both these interests could have created this nifty, unique idea.  Two weeks ago, Ty reproduced my review of the Elvis-themed movie Bubba Ho-Tep on The Film Frontier.  Now I get to delight you with one of Ty's best articles.

Please note that the Star Wars movie referenced in his article is not the one that thrilled us back in 1977.  That has now now been renamed Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Beginning.   Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace is one of the newer prequels, and, in it, Anakin Skywalker is a little kid.  Do you remember who Anakin grows up to be?  Give yourself 10 points if you said Darth Vader.  So, what you are about to see is a correlation between Elvis and young Darth Vader racing the hot vehicles of their days.  Enjoy Ty's story.

Elvis: Viva Las Star Wars

Posted by Tygrrius @ 11:12 PM, April 28, 2008

Could Elvis Presley have been a Jedi? We may never know, but he sure raced one like one.  A few weeks ago, I read an article comoparing the similarities between Elvis and Star Wars.  That article reminded me of something I noticed about a year ago.

When I first saw Star Wars: Episode I-The Phantom Menace back in 1999, I remember thinking that the podracing sequence on Tatooine seemed a little familiar. At the time, there were rumors that it was based on the chariot race in Ben-Hur, so I chalked it up to that and moved on with life.

I'm a huge Elvis fan, so I'm not sure why it took me so long to figure out why the race seemed so familiar. It didn't hit me until I was watching 1964's Viva Las Vegas, Elvis' fifteenth movie, one day last year. Though some of these connections are admittedly a stretch, several of the similarities between the two races are quite striking.

 

In Viva Las Vegas, Elvis Presley stars as Lucky Jackson, a down-on-his-luck racecar driver who enters the Las Vegas Grand Prix race. The event takes place in the Nevada desert. Much of the Las Vegas economy is based on gambling.

In Star Wars: Episode I-The Phantom Menace, Jake Lloyd appears as Anakin Skywalker, a young slave who enters the Boonta Eve Classic podrace. The event takes place in the Tatooine desert. Much of the Tatooine economy is based on gambling.

 

 

The beautiful Ann-Margret appears as Elvis' co-star and love interest, Rusty Martin. (Incidentally, happy birthday to Ann-Margret today!)

The beautiful Natalie Portman co-stars as Anakin's eventual love interest, Padmé. I say "eventual" because Anakin is only nine-years-old in Episode I. The real romance for them doesn't start until Episode II.

 

 

As a variety of cars take their places on the starting grid, Elvis is a late entry.

As a variety of podracers take their places on the starting grid, Anakin is a late entry.

 

 

Elvis' main rival, who is favored to win the race, drives a red-orange racecar.

Anakin's main rival, who is favored to win the podrace, pilots an orange-red podracer.

 

 

Elvis' supporters take a helicopter to watch the race from the air above the desert.

Anakin's supporters take a viewing platform to watch the podrace from the air above the desert.

 

 

In his silver and blue racecar, Elvis concentrates as the race across the desert begins.

In his silver and blue podracer, Anakin concentrates as the race across the desert begins.

 

 

Elvis tries to catch up to the leader.

Anakin tries to catch up to the leader.

 

 

Elvis checks to the right, wearing a lightning bolt on his helmet. (This actually looks a lot like the TCB lightning bolt that Elvis would use as a personal emblem about ten years later.)

Anakin checks to the right, while a lightning bolt helps power his podracer.

 

 

Elvis' supporters watch the race with mounting dread.

Anakin's supporters watch the podrace with mounting dread.

 

 

Elvis finally begins to close in on the leader.

Anakin finally begins to close in on the leader.

 

 

Elvis pulls alongside the leader, who has a much bigger racecar than he does.

Anakin pulls alongside the leader, who has a much bigger podracer than he does.

 

 

Elvis' supporters can't watch, for they fear he will crash out of the race.

Anakin's supporters can't watch, for they fear he will crash out of the podrace.

 

 

Elvis' rival crashes and the rest of the field passes by.

Anakin's rival crashes and the rest of the field passes by.

 

 

Elvis' supporters celebrate as he takes the lead.

Anakin's supporters celebrate as he takes the lead.

 

 

Elvis wins the race!

Anakin wins the race!

 

 

And Elvis gets the girl! (Lucky marries Rusty.)

It takes another ten years, but Anakin eventually gets the girl, too! Anakin (Hayden Christensen) marries Padmé in Episode II.

So, there you have it. Evidence that the Force was with Elvis Presley. As for Anakin Skywalker, sure, he may have been one of the most powerful Jedi ever, but could he belt out songs like "Viva Las Vegas" and "What'd I Say"? I don't think so.

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Presented by   Phil Arnold,  Original Elvis Blogmeister

When Bubba Ho-Tep was released back in 2003, I did not watch it in a movie theater.  As an independent film made on a shoestring budget, its run was mostly limited to the film festival circuit.  However, it received much critical praise, and by the time the Bubba Ho-Tep came out on VHS, there was enough buzz to make it a ‘must have’ for me.  I loved it.  Because it was about Elvis, I was predisposed to like it, but this film won me over on its merits.

In the ElvisBlog column two weeks ago, I mentioned the DVD of Jailhouse Rock I bought in Rome while on vacation.  For some reason, the Italians changed the title to Il Delinquente del Rock & Roll.  I can’t figure out why they chose to do this, because Jailhouse Rock has a direct translation – Casa Carere Rock.

The back of the DVD packaging listed all 22 of Elvis’ films in the Italian series, and only three had the American titles we all know:  Blue Hawaii, Viva Las Vegas, and Frankie and Johnny.  This established that the names of people and places would stay the same in English and Italian, so the word Acapulco gave an easy clue to one other title.  Café Europa confused me for a while, until I remembered that was the name of the nightclub where Juliet Prowse performed in G.I. Blues.  Beyond that, the original American title that matched up with each Italian one was a complete mystery to me.

Back of DVD packaging.  22 Italian Titles at bottom right.

Fortunately, Giuseppe, our friendly vacation tour director, accommodated me and translated the Italian titles into English.  For example, Fratelli Rivali translated to Rival Brothers, so I knew they were talking about Love Me Tender (Remember the Reno brothers who both loved the same woman?).   I have no idea why they didn’t just use the direct translation, which is Amami Teneramente.

In fact, there were only three Italian titles in the series that translated to the same words as the original title.  Stella Vi Fuoco means Flaming Star.  Guai Con Le Ragazze means The Trouble With Girls.  Paese Selveggio means Wild In The Country.

Some of Giuseppe’s other translations at least gave a clue to the American title.  For example, I was pretty sure The Barefoot Sheriff was Follow That Dream (Elvis was barefoot on the beach a lot and he was elected Sheriff by the homesteaders).  Crazy For Women was close enough to Girl Happy for me.  Multimillionaire Lifeguard had to be Clambake where rich Elvis traded identities with lifeguard Will Hutchins.  The Forbidden Punch invoked a boxing theme, so that had to be Kid Gallahad.

I could narrow down the options on some translations to two possible Elvis movies.  Elvis played a racecar driver in three films, so Drive Real Fast had to be Spinout or Speedway (Since Viva Las Vegas had been identified).  Singer at the Amusement Park could have been Roustabout or It Happened at the World’s Fair.

To answer the various title mysteries, I walked to a little shop in Rome with computer access rentals and paid 5 Euros for an hour on the Internet.  I typed Il Delinquente del Rock & Roll in Google and soon had ten sites that covered Elvis’ Italian movie DVDs.   Although this gave me the original titles for each Italian one, some questions still persisted.  For example, La Via Del Male was used for King Creole, but Giuseppe said that translated to The Way to the Sea, and that didn’t sound right.  So, I asked Anna, one of our vacationers who was an Italian native that married an American G.I. and has lived in the USA for the last 49 years.  I thought her command of English might be a little better than Giuseppe’s.

Sure enough, she corrected Giuseppe’s translation to The Bad Way, which certainly fit King Creole’s plot.  She also corrected Il Monte Di Venere from Mount Venus to The Mountain of Love (Venus was the Goddess of Love).  This worked much better for Kissin’ Cousins, because the action took place on a mountain owned by Pappy Tatum, and Elvis had two Tatum daughters and all those Kitty Hawk girls to choose from.  However, Anna suggested she had a little trivia about another Italian meaning for The Mountain of Love.  “What is that?” I responded.  I don’t remember her full answer, but when I heard the words “female pubic hair,” I nearly dropped my pen.

Anyway, here in list form, are the other movies that took some detective work to figure out.

            Translation from Italian                   Actual Title

100 Girls and One Sailor                    Girls, Girls, Girls

Blonde, Redhead, Brunet                    It Happened at the World’s Fair

Oriental Adventure                             Harum Scarum

I Want To Mary Them All                    Spinout

Stop Everything, Let’s Start Again       Double Trouble

Drive Real Fast                                  Speedway

Singer At The Amusement Park          Roustabout

3 Hunks, 2 Baby Dolls, 1 Treasure      Easy Come, Easy Go

I have been told that Italian DVDs will not work in our American players.  That’s too bad, because I would like to hear Elvis’ dialog in Jailhouse Rock dubbed in Italian.  To my ear, the language sounds like everybody has just consumed three cans of Red Bull.  It would probably be a hoot to hear Elvis say in Italian, “That ain’t tactics, honey.  That’s just the beast in me.”

©  2008   Philip R Arnold   All Rights Reserved   www.ElvisBlog.net

The New York Times published its review of Elvis’ first movie “Love Me Tender” on November 16, 1956.  Fortunately, it is back in print as part of the Times special commemorative THE KING, containing 80 articles about Elvis.  Just the title was enough to tell me there was no way the review would be positive:  “Culture Takes A Holiday.”  When I read that, I knew Elvis was going to get clobbered.

His acting début was at the mercy of Times film critic, Bosley Crowther, generally considered America’s foremost movie critic from the early 1940s to the late 1960s.  How do you like that name? -- Bosley Crowther.  Sure sounds like a stuffed shirt who couldn’t stand Rock & Roll, doesn’t it?

Well, old Bosley held back from being nasty for one paragraph, and then he started slamming Elvis:  “The picture itself is a slight case of horse opera with the heaves.”  A well crafted line, to be sure, but oh so nasty.  Then it got nastier: “Mr. Presley’s dramatic contribution is not a great deal more impressive than that of one of the slavering nags.”

Oh, that’s pretty mean.  Bosley Crowther rated Elvis’ acting ability just slightly higher than a horse.  So, what do you think he said about Elvis’ singing ability?  How about:  “Mr. Presley’s farm-boy does some grotesque singing before he is done – and it isn’t good.”

OK, to summarize:  Bosley said the movie made him barf, Elvis acted like a horse, and his singing was grotesque.  What else could Bosley find to knock?  How about Elvis voice?  “A lot of  noise… It is a sort of frenzied puffing of throaty and none too melodic tones that heave out of Mr. Presley’s system.”  Wow. “Frenzied puffing.”  And the heaves again.  Bosley gets minus points here.  Can’t use a nifty word twice in the same story.

Then came something that might be taken as complimentary. Describing Elvis’ performance in his singing scenes, Bosley wrote, “It is frantic and vaguely orgiastic.”  Bosley would flip if he could see today’s music videos.  Nothing vague about them.

Next Bosley described Elvis’ acting as follows:  “As for the characterization of a jealous farm-boy that Mr. Presley gives, it is turgid, juicy and flamboyant.”  Now, that was real praise.  How did that square with the comparison of Elvis’ acting like a horse.  Confusing, but I liked the change in direction.  Bosley went on to say:  “With his childish face, puffy lips and wild hair, he might be convincing as a kid with a load of resentment in his system.”

My spirits were up after reading these words of modest praise.  Then Bosley turned black-hearted again and said:  “But, he’s not much more than a singing ‘heavy’ in this film.”  And finally, Bosley praised Elvis a little while hammering his co-stars, Richard Egan and Debra Paget:  “He certainly goes at this job with a great deal more zeal and assurance than the rest of the actors show.”

Of course, it didn’t really matter what Bosley Crowther thought or wrote.  With Elvis’ legions of young fans, there was a built-in audience for the film “Love Me Tender.”  I have always thought Elvis did a credible job in the role. 

Bosley Crowther’s movie review was such a hoot to read fifty years later.  It wasn’t all negative, and it gave origin to the strangest title to ever appear in Elvisblog:  “Turgid, Juicy and Flamboyant.”  As Dave Barry would say, that would make a good name for a rock band.  Come to think of it, so would “Vaguely Orgiastic,” “ Frenzied Puffing,” and “Slavering Nags.”

©   2006   Philip R Arnold   All Rights Reserved   www.elvisblog.net

Turner Classic Movies hasn’t given the above title to their TV schedule for August 16  – but they could.  TCM will show 24 hours of consecutive, commercial-free Elvis movies on the 29^th anniversary of his death.  Fourteen movies in all.  What a treat for Elvis fans this year.  Especially this one, who is going to miss Elvis Week for only the second time this decade and is starting to get bummed about it.  So, who wants to watch Elvis Movies?

Here’s a look at what TCM has lined up.  Their 24-hour period runs from 5AM on the 16^th until the same time next morning.

Harum Scarum – 5AM:  I’m glad they are showing this one.  It’s been a long time since I last saw it and I don’t have it on tape.   How strange will the plot to bump off the ruler of a desert kingdom seem in this day and age?

Stay Away, Joe -- 6:35AM:  This is a very rare opportunity to see Stay Away, Joe.  As I wrote on the 11/27/05 blog, this has to be Elvis’ worst movie, but if you haven’t seen it, I recommend that you do.  It will make you appreciate Clambake and Tickle Me as fine artistic achievements.

Double Trouble – 8:15AM:  This is not a good enough movie for me to use up a half-day of vacation.  I’m going to work.

The Trouble With Girls – 10:00AM:  I won’t feel too bad about missing this one, either.  The music’s not that great.

Girl Happy – 11:50AM:  This is a “don’t miss” Elvis movie for me.  It has Shelly Fabares in it, and she’s my favorite Elvis co-star.  The music is very good.  I’d stretch my lunch hour to catch Girl Happy, but it won’t be necessary.  A half-day of vacation will give me the time to watch this and two more goodies.

Jailhouse Rock – 1:30PM:  I’ve seen it six or seven times, but one more will be fun.  I’ll amuse myself by paying attention to the scenes where Scotty Moore, Bill Black and DJ Fontana are on screen.  They are in this movie a lot.

Elvis On Tour – 3:15PM:  A nice change of pace.  I am looking forward to this documentary because it’s been ten years since I last saw it.

It Happened at the World’s Fair – 5:05PM:  Time out for dinner with the family.  They will get my undivided attention for two hours, and then it’s back to the TV for:

Viva Las Vegas – 7:10PM:  There ought to be a law that requires this movie to be broadcast on January 8 and August 16 every year.  It doesn’t matter how many times you’ve seen it.  Watch it again.  Ann Margaret.  Mmmm.

Elvis: That’s The Way It Is – 9:00PM:  Another documentary, but with tons of backstage rehearsal footage.  I like watching Elvis at 35: thin, healthy, and excited to get back to performing live.  Perfect prime-time viewing.  I’m making popcorn.

Speedway – 10:45PM:  For some reason, it’s been a long while since I’ve seen this one.  I’ll brew a fresh pot of coffee and try to stay awake for Elvis and Nancy Sinatra.  She does look so fine.

Live A Little, Love A Little – 12:30AM:  I’ll try, but sleep will probably overtake me.  If you’re a night owl, definitely watch this one.  Read the Elvisblog article of 7/3/05 first to see why I call this Elvis’ strangest movie and keep a watch for all the weird stuff I point out.

Kissin Cousins – 2:00AM:  Not a chance.  To late for me.  Saw it in January, anyway.  If you are going to watch it, you might want to reread the blog article posted on 1/22/06.

Girl Happy – 3:30 AM:  The only double dip.  Not necessary because it was on over lunch the day before.

So, it looks like I’m good for eight of the Elvis films that Turner Classic Movies will present on August 16.  I’d rather be at Elvis Week, but this isn’t a bad consolation.  Let’s give big thanks to TCM for the special programming.  I feel like I should be calling an 800 number to make a contribution to keep it coming.

And, I hope all you fans have a great day of Elvis movie watching, too.

©  2006   Philip R Arnold   www.elvisblog.net

One website I return to frequently is TVNow.  I have bookmarked the link to their monthly list of Elvis shows on television, which I use to make my Elvis movie watching plans.  Of course, I have all of his films on tape and could watch them any time I want, but I prefer to catch them when are broadcast.  I feel like I’m connected to all the other Elvis fans across the country who are watching the same Elvis movie.

In the period from June 4 to July 1, there are six Elvis movies on five cable TV stations:  “Clambake” on Showtime, “Easy Come, Easy Go” on Cinemax, “King Creole” and “Roustabout” on HBO Signature, “Love Me Tender” on Fox Movie Channel,and “Speedway” on Turner Classic Movies.  The big cable networks seem to like showing Elvis films, so a little advance planning can really pay off.

Fortunately, the networks give you from two to five showings of almost every Elvis movie they run, and one option is usually in prime time or during the day on weekends.  I hate it when an Elvis movie is on just once -- at 2AM, but a 5AM showing is perfect for me.  I get up a little early and watch a whole Elvis movie before going to work.  Great way to start the day.

Six Elvis movies in a month on all the cable channels is actually a pretty low total.  Usually there are eight to ten.  This month’s viewing choices also includes “Heartbreak Hotel”, a movie about Elvis starring Brian Keith and Tuesday Weld.  I could write a whole blog article on this movie, and probably will after I watch it again in two weeks.  For now, let’s just say this is one you should see.  It has a good plot and excellent Elvis music with a harder rock edge to it.  Plus, the mature Tuesday Weld looks better than she did with Elvis in “Wild In the Country” twenty-five years earlier.  Check out “Heartbreak Hotel” and the other offerings at http://www.tv-now.com/stars/elvis.html

TVNow also lists other types of programming that contain something about Elvis.  This month we get VH1’s “100 Most Shocking Moments in Rock & Roll.”  I’ll have to wade through a bunch of other stuff to see where they place Elvis in the ranking.  Elvis doing “Hound Dog’ on the second Milton Berle Show should rank very high as a shocking moment.  It caused the press to slam Elvis so bad, saying he was turning America’s teenagers into juvenile delinquents.  Hopefully, VH1 knows what they are doing and don’t cite the filming of Elvis from the waist up on the Ed Sullivan Show.  That was so lame compared to the Elvis’ stunning appearance on the Berle show.  It sounds like another probable blog subject, doesn’t it?

More on Al Wertheimer next week.  Still working on the Elvis International Magazine 50th Anniversary story about him and his 1956 photos of Elvis.

Surprise, this is not an article about the phrase made famous by Al Dvorin.  It is a review of a movie of the same name that went straight to video.  I figure you ought to get the word on it now while the DVD is still available.  A year from now it may be hard to find.

Elvis Has Left The Building is a quirky little film starring Kim Basinger, who still looks terrific at age 50+.  Her character is Harmony Jones, a traveling cosmetics saleslady.  The male lead is John Corbett.  Remember him from TV’s Northern Exposure or the movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding?  Among the lesser players are Angie Dickenson, Annie Potts, and several hundred of the worst looking Elvis impersonators you ever saw.  Even gorgeous Denise Richards looks pretty bad in an Elvis wig and outfit.

At the beginning of the film, a legend appears on screen:

At the time of his death there were 3 known Elvis impersonators.  Today there are over 50,000.

If that figure continues to grow at its present rate, by the year 2012, one out of every four people on the planet will be an Elvis impersonator.

In the face of this potential threat to world sanity a miracle occurred, and her name was Harmony Jones.

If you think the movie might not be very positive toward Elvis impersonators, you are right.  I wonder if there really are 50,000 of them in the world now.  Anyway, Harmony Jones comes in contact with a string of Elvis impersonators who all kick the bucket in weird ways.  Believe it or not, the movie’s light tone continues very well in spite of these demises.  Elvis impersonators are treated as expendable.  (Remember they pose a threat to world sanity.)

Harmony believes she is transmitting some evil jinx to these men, so she tries to avoid contact with any more Elvises.  John Corbett’s hunky character is not an Elvis impersonator, but Harmony sees his soon-to-be ex-wife’s Elvis jump suit in his car and spends half the movie trying to avoid him.  He is very persistent, and the ensuing escapades lead to a happy ending.  At least, happy for them.  Several hundred Elvis impersonators don’t fare so well.

Elvis Has Left The Building is not classic cinema, but I liked it.  There’s an offbeat love story and a bunch of laughs (the gay guy is an absolute hoot).  Kim Basinger is perfect in her role.  Tom Hanks adds a short cameo appearance as the head in the mailbox.  That’s too difficult to explain, so just watch for it.

I recommend you see Elvis Has Left The Building.  Unless you have a family member who is an Elvis impersonator, you will enjoy it.

Although I’ve been only a modest Johnny Cash fan over the years, I am fully aware of his talent and immense contribution to American music.  So, his bio-pic “Walk The Line” was a must-see when it came out on DVD.  This is one movie you don’t want to miss.  Joaquin Phoenix did a superb job portraying Johnny Cash.  He was at least as good as Reese Witherspoon, who won an Oscar playing June Carter.

Because the careers of Elvis and Johnny Cash overlapped for a short while at Sun Records, I knew Elvis would have to be in the movie.  He was – in four different scenes -- but I’m not totally happy with the way Elvis was portrayed.

The scene first occurred in 1954 when Cash was a struggling door-to-door salesman in Memphis.  He walked around a corner onto Union St. and saw two fellows unload an upright bass from their car and carry it across the street and into a small storefront.  Any Elvis fan would identify the young men as Elvis and Bill Black.  Cash looked in the window and could faintly hear music.  He walked around back, and through an open door he heard Elvis and Bill and Scotty playing “Milk Cow Blues.”  Soon Johnny Cash is back at Sun studios doing an audition for Sam Phillips.

Elvis’ next scene is at a concert in Texarkana, Texas in 1955.  Almost the whole gang from Sun Records was on the bill:  Elvis, Johnny Cash, Jerry Lee Lewis, and Roy Orbison.  This would have been a terrific show had it really occurred, but it never happened.  Jerry Lee’ history at Sun Records didn’t start until late 1956, and Roy Orbison came along after him.  This instance of playing loose with the truth should have sent me a warning that something worse was coming.

However, the actor playing Elvis has four lines of dialog in this scene, including “Sounded good tonight, Cash – real tight,” and “Want some chilli-fries?”  Elvis also makes two complimentary comments about June Carter, but parts of them were too mumbled to distinguish, even with repeated listens.

The movie jumps to a scene in a car, part of a tour caravan through Texas in 1956.  Johnny and June and Jerry Lee mention they are going to Tyler and that they had just played Austin.  Soon they stop in Calvert, Texas for the night, and all the fellows, including Elvis, hang around outside drinking beer.  One fellow has a baggie of something in his hand, and asks Cash if he wants some.  When Cash asks what is it, the fellow tells him, "It'll just make you want to drive all the way to Jacksonville -- and enjoy yourself when you get there."

Then comes the part that really bothers me.  The fellow tells Cash, “Elvis takes 'em,” and with that validation Cash agrees to try some.  The implication is that Johnny Cash’s downward spiral with amphetamines started because of Elvis.  This is a low blow.  Sure, Elvis had his problems with prescription drugs in the latter part of his life, but none of the references I’ve checked cite any use in 1956.  The earliest noted use of amphetamines by Elvis is as a soldier in Germany to stay awake during all-night maneuvers.  It just bugs me that the people behind the movie took such liberties with Elvis.

The last scene with Elvis in it is at a concert in Texarkana, Texas, later in 1956.  This time we get to see Elvis perform.  However, part way through the song, the camera shifts to backstage action by Johnny Cash.  While Cash has his first dalliances with groupies, we hear Elvis singing “That’s All Right.”  Is that a coincidence, or is the movie giving subliminal validation by Elvis for more bad behavior? 

It spite of these quibbles, I thought “Walk The Line” was a wonderful movie with superb acting.  At its core it is a love story with a happy ending.  Without June Carter, we would have lost Johnny Cash a lot earlier and America would have missed a lot of great music.

The common complaint about Elvis movies is that they are all pretty much the same story with different actresses for love interests.  Elvis is either a racecar driver or pilot or boat owner, who just happens to be a singer, too.

So, you have to give credit to “Kissin’ Cousins” for breaking from the standard formula a bit.  I watched it again on Elvis’ birthday as part of the four-movie special presented by cable channel Turner Classic Movies.  Unfortunately, family obligations prevented me from seeing the other three: “Jailhouse Rock,” “It Happened At The Worlds Fair,” and “Viva Las Vegas.”  But “Kissin’ Cousins” started at 6:15 AM and was over by 8 AM, so I finished it before anyone else even got up.

What makes “Kissin’ Cousins” different is that there are two Elvises, or at least Elvis playing two characters.  One is Josh Morgan, the familiar black-haired Elvis, but the other is mountain man Jodie Tatum, a very distant cousin who looks identical except for his sandy-colored hair.  Josh has two other very distant Tatum cousins, Serena and Azalea, beautiful hillbilly girls who both go after Elvis early in the script.  This has happened in other Elvis movies, but I love the way he solves this dilemma.  This time, his character is an Army Lieutenant, so he simply orders a Sergeant to take one girl off his hands.  Nice assignment.

Of course, it wouldn’t be right unless both Elvises end up with a girl, so a beautiful WAC from the Army steno pool is introduced to be Jodie’s love interest.  She wants nothing to do with him at first, but Jodie keeps after her, and finally his singing wins her over.  Gee, that never happened before.

As with most Elvis movies, there are several song-and-dance scenes in “Kissin’ Cousins.”  So, where do all the extra girls for this come from?  Well, you see, the Tatum clan’s property is up on a mountain.  Down below is Kitty Hawk Valley, where no baby boys have been born for over twenty years.  (How’s that for pushing the limits of willing suspension of disbelief?)  I just love the parts when fifteen or so of the love-starved Kitty Hawk girls make raids up the mountain to snag themselves Tatum men.  No wonder Jodie has never left the mountain.  He’s had his choice of these lovelies all these years.

“Kissin’ Cousins” was a fine way to celebrate Elvis’ birthday, and I commend Turner Classic Movies for again bringing us blocks of Elvis films on special occasions.  The next time should be the Fourth of July, and I’ll be watching.

©  2006   Philip R Arnold   www.elvisblog.net

There is one Elvis movie you will never see available on DVD.  It truly is awful, but that’s what makes it such an interesting subject for an Elvisblog article.

My nominee for the worst Elvis movie of all time is “Stay Away, Joe.”  How many of you readers have even seen it?  Not too many, I’ll bet.  When it was released in 1968, it reached only #65 in the box-office rankings for the year.  Now, 37 years later, if the movie rating code included a “Not PC“ rating, “Stay Away, Joe” would get one.

The movie portrays young Indian men on a reservation in Arizona as beer-drinking, women-chasing hell-raisers, and Elvis (Joe Lightcloud) is right there with them for every brawl and midnight party.  The fights are almost slapstick and good-natured, but there’s a lot of them.  I did find some humor in their frequent runs to the liquor store to get more beer, and they sure could put away a lot of it.  A good bit of the total viewing time of the movie occurs while the boys are drunk.  After one all-nighter, Joe is found covered in beer cans under the front porch of the family’s ramshackle home.  It was supposed to be humorous, but I’ve got to think Native Americans would find these stereotypes highly offensive.

Fortunately, the worst totally-stupid drunk action is not done by Joe, but by his buddy Bronc.  The Lightcloud family had received 20 cows and a bull from the US government under an experimental program to show that reservation Indians weren’t lazy and shiftless.  All the Lightclouds had to do was raise and grow the herd.  Well, the night the cattle arrive, they have a huge drunken party on the spur of the moment.  There is no food, so Joe instructs Bronc to barbeque up one of the government cows.  Have you figured out what’s coming?  Of course, Bronc cooks and serves the bull, their only bull.  Uh-Ohh.

After blowing their opportunity, the family resorts to selling off the rest of the herd, one-by-one, to buy things they need for their home.  Just when it appears the worst fears of the govenment men have been realized, Elvis/Joe saves the day.  He comes up with a way to raise a bunch of cash quickly and bail out everything, but it’s pretty far-fetched.

There are two good things that can be said about “Stay Away, Joe.”  Elvis looks great -- tanned and rugged in his redskin make-up.  Also, the credits open during extended aerial views of the beautiful redrock formations around Sedona, AZ, accompanied by an Elvis vocal on a serious western song, “Stay Away.”  It all feels like you are about to see a good western, but noooo…

Elvis does three other songs in the movie, and one is notable.  Elvis/Joe sings the song, “Dominique” about their replacement bull (selected by Bronc, of course), which has no interest whatsoever in chasing after any of those 20 lovely cows.  An ode to an impotent bull.  Very strange.

I have a VHS copy of “Stay Away, Joe.”  Someday, when I retire, I’ll put it up for sale.  I’m counting on its rarity to make it a desirable Elvis collectible.  I don’t think there are many of them around (and that’s probably how it should be).

© 2005   Philip R Arnold

Most of us Elvis fans have dozens of his movies on video, so we can watch one any time we want.   Instead, do you tend to let the tapes sit unused, but never miss it when an Elvis movie shows up on TV?  I do.  A casual scan of the cable movie options the other night revealed that “Clambake” would be on Showtime West at 8 o’clock.  Perfect.  Not to be missed.

I happily announced to my wife what I would be watching, and her response was, “How many times have you seen it?”  She always forgets that it doesn’t really matter how many times.  In fact, with repeated viewings, you get to know the story so well you can start watching for other interesting things.  “Clambake” is full of them.  It also has Shelly Fabares, who looks so fine.  Elvis had her in three of his movies, so he must have thought so, too.  Some folks are waiting for Ann Margret’s intimate memoirs about Elvis to be published, but I’d really like to hea