Category Archives: LISTS

The Elvis Pumpkin Carving Contest

Posted on October 25, 2012 by | 1 Comment

If you are a member of Elvis Insiders or have recently checked the news on Elvis.com, you know that EPE is sponsoring an Elvis-themed pumpkin carving contest.  You can carve your pumpkin, post a photo of it on the Elvis Facebook page, and maybe you’ll win $250 worth of merchandise from ShopElvis.com.

You may be surprised to know how popular Elvis pumpkin carving has been even prior to Graceland getting involved.  Elvisblog did a Halloween photo essay of Elvis pumpkins back in 2009.  I didn’t pick a winner at the time, but probably the best of the bunch was this:

You will notice a big difference between these two styles.  The pumpkin on the contest image is what I guess we would call the old-style carving where the knife cuts go all the way through and light from a candle shines out.  The other seems to be the popular style now where only darker, outer skin is carved out to create detailed designs.

 

Here’s an Elvis pumpkin we featured in 2010 that is a terrific example of a carved-through design.  This is impressive.

 

And here is a more recent discovery that shows an unmistakable image of Elvis using the outer skin cut out style.

 

Now, it seems we have reached a new level in pumpkin-carving technology or skill, or both.  It’s hard to believe the vivid images on these next two were achieved by just cutting away the orange outer skin.  Their creators are real artists.

 

And check out the level of detail on these three.  How do the carvers do it?  I would love to see these pumpkins in person.

 

And, finally, here is an Elvis pumpkin using another unique technique – carving away all the outer skin and using what’s left as an artist’s medium to create a sculpture with depth as well as detail.

 This one gets the ElvisBlog award for the best Elvis pumpkin of 2012.

 

Now, just for fun, here is a four-way tie for the worst.

 

I can’t resist showing the strangest picture that comes up when you Google Elvis pumpkin — some jerk in an ill-fitting Elvis jumpsuit cutting a pumpkin with a chain saw.

 

Check out the belly showing below the too-small shirt.  And the pumpkin is lop-sided and discolored.  This is just wrong in so many ways.

 

Here’s something that’s just right.

NEWS FLASH:   Here is the winner of the EPE Elvis Pumpkin Carving Contest:

©  2012    Philip R Arnold, Original Elvis Blogmeister    All Rights Reserved    www.ElvisBlog.net

 

Elvis, Elvis Presley, and Graceland are registered trademarks of Elvis Presley Enterprises, Inc.

 

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Posted in IMAGES, LISTS, Main Page, THE MOST UNUSUAL ELVIS ARTICLES ON THE WEB

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Top 10 Elvis Songs — A Contrarian View

Posted on October 20, 2012 by | 5 Comments

A few years ago, my friend Alan Hanson listed Elvis Presley’s 20 Greatest Recordings on his Elvis-History-Blog.   This past August, another Elvis-blogger-buddy Troy Yeary presented his picks for the top 100 Elvis songs on his Mystery Train Elvis blog.  I noticed only two songs were on both of their top 10 – “Jailhouse Rock” and “Reconsider Baby.”  These two guys are genuine Elvis fans and they really know their stuff, but their opinions differed greatly.

So, I thought about what songs would be on my Elvis Top 10 list.  Rather than trying to make a subjective analysis, my list would just be my favorites.  My personal prejudices would certainly show up.  I grew up in the late fifties and strongly believe Elvis made his best music in the years before going in the Army.  I really don’t care for much of Elvis’ music from the seventies – not really rock and roll, too many horns and fancy arrangements.  And, I have become a great blues fan for the past twenty years, so I have sought out Elvis’ blues offerings over his career and made a playlist out of them.  And finally, I have listened to some Elvis hits so many times that I’ve grown tired of them.

With all that explained, here are the selections for my personal Top 10 Elvis songs

#10:    I Was The One

This song has been a favorite since I was a teenager in the late 50s.  We had lots of parties, and we played records and danced to them for hours.  We’d stack up seven or eight 45s on those little record players.  When the last 45 dropped down and finished playing, we would pick up the whole stack and flip them over.  So, in addition to listening “Heartbreak Hotel,” we would also slow dance to the flip side, “I Was The One.”  I remember getting close and lovey with girls while dancing to this song, an important prequel to the make-out sessions that followed later.  To this day, whenever I hear ‘I Was The One,” I get all warm and fuzzy.

#9:    Santa Claus Is Back In Town

Like most fans, I pull out the CDs of Elvis Christmas songs every December.  There is one song that always stands out for me, “Santa Claus is Back in Town.”  I’m so glad the Christmas season gives me a chance each year to reconnect with this song.  I just love it.

 

#8:    Reconsider Baby

Elvis and Boots Randolph performing “Reconsider Baby” at Pearle Harbor, Hawaii, March 25, 1961

I have always liked this song no matter which artist was singing it.  But my special affection for it began in 2004 during the “Good Rockin’ Tonight” concert at Elvis Week.  I was a gofer for all the singers and players that night, and I got to sit off to stage right with Boots Randolph before he went on for his segment of the show.  He was so nice and friendly, and I couldn’t believe he talked so much to a nobody like me.  Then he went on stage to perform three songs, including “Reconsider Baby.”  Although he was 77 years old, Boots absolutely knocked out the audience with his soulful sax wailing, and he was rewarded with a huge standing ovation.  It was electrifying.  Boots died three years later, but Elvis’ version of the song carries on.  Now, whenever I hear “Reconsider Baby” by Elvis, I flash back to that wonderful evening.

 

#7:    I Want To Be Free

I have admitted that I’ve loved blues music over the last twenty years, so my Elvis top ten list is slanted toward his blues offerings.  The next time you watch Jailhouse Rock , really listen to “I Want To Be Free.”  Maybe it will grow on you like it has on me. Normally, I would never think of the Jordanaires as a group that would fit in a blues song, but they did a great job here.  Of course, Elvis did too, showing off that wonderful vocal range he had.

 

#6:    Steamroller Blues:

Like I said, I don’t care for much of the Elvis’ music from the 70s, but this song from 1972 is an exception.  Elvis never recorded “Steamroller Blues” in the studio, but who can forget him singing it in Aloha From Hawaii?   You’ve got to love a song with lyrics like, “Well, I’m a cement mixer, a churning urn of burning funk,” and “I’m gonna’ inject your soul with some sweet rock ‘n roll and shoot you full of rhythm and blues.”  Elvis at his baaadest.

 

#5:    I Washed My Hands In Muddy Water

This is the other exception to my indifference for Elvis’s 70s music.  Elvis recorded “I Washed My Hands In Muddy Water” in 1970, and a short version of it was included on the album Elvis Country.  But, the version I like is on the 1996 CD A Hundred Years From Now.  It goes on for five minutes and sounds just like what it is – a free-wheeling jam session.  You can’t possibly listen to this song without getting revved up.

 

#4:    Lawdy Miss Clawdy

I have been a fan of this song ever since Lloyd Price released it in the mid-fifties.  I liked Elvis’ version on his first album, Elvis Presley, and I liked his unplugged version during the ’68 Comeback Special even more.  But what really turned me on was watching Elvis nail “Lawdy Miss Clawdy” on the theatrical showing of the restored Elvis On Tour.  In fact, when the song began, there was a noticeable stirring among the theater audience, so I wasn’t the only one it got to.  Kudos to Glen D. Hardin for an outstanding piano part on the song.

#3:    Tryin’ To Get To You

Elvis recorded this song at Sun Records in 1955, but it was first released on the RCA album Elvis Presley in 1956.  Later that year, it was released as a single, but it did not chart.  However, it must have been a favorite of Elvis’ because he sang it during the filming of the ’68 Comeback Special.  Unfortunately, it was left on the cutting-room floor.  Only a few lucky folks like me who own the bootleg album The Burbank Sessions have heard this terrific raw version of “Tryin’ To Get To You.”  I can’t believe they edited it out of the special.

 

#2:    (You’re So Square) Baby, I Don’t Care

I have mentioned this song numerous times on ElvisBlog as a big favorite.  Why it was never released as a single is a mystery to me.  You will remember “Baby, I Don’t Care” as the song Elvis sang during the swimming pool scene in Jailhouse Rock.  Some people consider the dance sequence with the movie’s title song as the forerunner to the modern music video, but I think it’s a tie.  Same thing goes for “Baby, I Don’t Care.”

#1: Like A Baby

 

If you thought my other selections were a little strange, this one should blow your mind.    Do you even know this song?  You should if you listen to the 1960 album Elvis Is Back.  This album is on just about everybody’s top 5 Elvis album list.  It is rated his best album by many, including me.  The reason it’s so good is because it contains a number of blues songs (including “Reconsider Baby” mentioned above).  For many years “Like A Baby” was my favorite Elvis blues song, but after thinking about it for this article, I’ve decided it really is my favorite Elvis song, period.

Like they say, opinions are like a** holes; everybody’s got one.  I hope you’ve enjoyed reading about my choices.  If you strongly disagree, please comment below.

 

©  2012    Philip R Arnold, Original Elvis Blogmeister    All Rights Reserved    www.ElvisBlog.net

Elvis, Elvis Presley, and Graceland are registered trademarks of Elvis Presley Enterprises, Inc.

 

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Posted in CDs / RECORDS, LISTS, Main Page

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Elvis and the Island of Misfit Gifts

Posted on December 12, 2010 by | Leave a comment

Do you remember the Christmas video Rudolph: The Island of Lost Toys?  It was the sequel to the classic Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, and it still shows up on television from time to time.

I saw this publicity still on the internet and thought there might be a parallel in Elvisworld.  Over the past fifty-five years, there have been many, many Elvis products introduced – and some were pretty crummy.  I know, because I’ve received some of them as Christmas presents.

So, if there was an Elvis Island of Misfit Gifts, here are some strange items that should be there.

 

Elvis Bikini:  Would any of you ladies really wear this?  Probably not, when you consider where the words “Good Rockin’ Tonight” are positioned when the pants are on.  Remember, terms like Rock and Roll and Good Rockin’ originally were euphemisms for having sex, so some folks who see you in this suit might get the wrong message.  On the other hand, if you are on vacation and looking to make things happen, the old Elvis bikini might just do it.

 

Elvis Guitar:  This one actually freaks me out.  Elvis’ head looks like some kind of mutant growth on the side of the guitar.  I just don’t think any up-an-coming young guitar player would be caught dead with this thing.  Can't you just see a high school kid cringe when Grandma gives him this guitar for Christmas?

 

 

Elvis for Dummies:  This might actually be full of good stuff about Elvis, but so are lots of other books.  If a real Elvis fan owns this, it probably was a Christmas present from some relative who doesn’t have a clue.
 

 

                            

Elvis Toilet Seat Cover:   There is one way this could be an okay gift.  It would work for those really committed fans who have their own Elvis Room — and there is a bathroom right across the hall.  It probably already has a bunch of overflow stuff from the Elvis Room, so the Elvis toilet seat cover will work out there just fine.
 

 

Hunk ‘A  Burnin’ Love Coffee Mug:   I have received other Elvis coffee mugs for Christmas, and they're fine.  But, this mug is a definite misfit.  Why a cartoon Elvis?  Especially one with no nose or mouth.  In this image, Elvis looks like he has a duck bill.  And, it also looks likes he is giving the finger. 

 

 

50s Elvis Hat:  Maybe this hat was cool back in the 50s, but I doubt it.  Dorky and Elvis just don’t mix. It says GALS on the sign, so maybe the Elvis Presley hat looked good on them.

 

Elvis Sex Toy:  Just kidding.  But, the real product description doesn’t make much more sense:  “Elvis Keyboard Cleaner Brush.”   I guess you lift the hair off and it’s the handle for the brush.

 

 

Elvis Airplane Teapot:   I have photos of other Elvis teapots, but they are just variations of Elvis’ head.  This one goes farther and has Elvis in an airplane.  I don’t know what that other little snowman is about, unless he is an alternate lid for the pot.  Not much of an improvement, is it?

 

Elvis Album Cover Necktie:  I actually have this one, and, yes, it was a Christmas present.  Because I wear ties only at weddings or funerals, I guess my Elvis tie will never get out of the closet.  Maybe I’ll have some occasion to wear it as a joke.

 

 

Elvis and Nixon Globe:   Graceland snow globes are nifty.  Elvis and Nixon globes…not so much.

 

Elvis Impersonator Wine Caddy:   The ad on the internet actually calls this “Custom Elvis Impersonator Wine Caddy.”  Why Elvis impersonator and not Elvis?  Maybe they knew it was too ugly for Graceland to make it an EPE licensed product, so they couldn’t call it Elvis.  All I know is, the next time I want to carry some wine around, it won’t be in one of these misfits.

 

Betty Boop Bobbler:   Let’s see, the stand says “Elvis,” and that looks like a white Elvis jumpsuit.  But, what’s with Betty Boop?  Very strange.

 

Elvis Plush Toy:   There must be hundreds of Elvis plush toys out there, and this may be the worst.  And what is that yellow hot-dog-looking thing sitting on his feet? 

I do not own any Elvis plush toys, but if some relative wants to give me one for Christmas, I hope it is this cool blue ninja Elvis Teddy Bear in a gold lame’ coat.

 

 

©  2010    Philip R Arnold, Original Elvis Blogmeister    All Rights Reserved    www.ElvisBlog.net

Elvis, Elvis Presley, and Graceland are registered trademarks of Elvis Presley Enterprises, Inc.

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Posted in IMAGES, LISTS, Main Page, PRODUCTS BASED ON ELVIS

So, Was “Hound Dog” A Number 1 Hit, Or Not?

Posted on March 21, 2010 by | Leave a comment

If you were asked to guess what Elvis’ ten biggest hits were, would you have “Hound Dog” on your list?  Certainly.  How about one of his five biggest hits?  Very likely, as well.  So, it may come as a surprise to you that “Hound Dog” was never credited as a Number 1 hit on the esteemed Billboard list generally considered the official word on this sort of thing.  How can that be?

I asked myself that question when a recent article appeared on the Elvis-History Blog, written by my friend Alan Hanson.  It was titled, “Elvis's #2 Recordings Help Make Him #1 on the Charts.”  Alan started his wonderful blog two years ago.  He read a number of ElvisBlog columns as part of his research in deciding to start his own site, but he did not go back to my June, 2007 article titled “Elvis – King of the Number 2 Hits.”   So, in our efforts to come up with another new topic each week, we both thought of the same idea — independently and years apart.

The weird thing was that Alan’s list of Elvis’ Number 2 hits and mine had different songs on them.  We both agreed on four songs:

“Burning Love”
“Return To Sender”
“Can’t Help Falling in Love”
“A Fool Such as I”

I had two Number 2 songs in my blog that Alan did not:

“Wear My Ring Around Your Neck”
“Love Me”

And he had three songs in his list of Number 2 hits that I had at Number 1.

“Hard Headed Woman”
“Too Much”
“Hound Dog”

Here’s why this occurred.  On August 4, 1958, Billboard magazine first published their Hot 100 chart, and it has continued for more than a half-century to be the industry standard for reporting hit songs.  However, Billboard originally got into ranking the hits on January 1, 1955, when it started publishing three lists:

Best Sellers in Stores
Most Played by [Disc] Jockeys
Most Played in Juke Boxes

I found a complete copy of the January 26, 1957 issue of Billboard magazine on line, Here is a look at these three charts

These were short charts, containing just 20 or 25 top hits.  Do you remember, in the movie Jailhouse Rock, what job Judy Tyler’s character had when she met Elvis?   She went around and collected the statistics about song plays on jukeboxes.  Although she was reporting to a record company, I imagine it was people like her who provided Billboard with the data they used to compile their Most Played in Juke Boxes chart.

On November 12, 1955, a little more than ten months after the first three lists were born, Billboard added a fourth: the Top 100 chart.  Gradually, over the next few years, this became the most definitive list, because it generally reported the aggregate positions of songs on the other three lists combined.

By the time Billboard changed the name of the Top 100 chart to the Hot 100 chart in August 1958, the other three charts were either recently eliminated or would be soon thereafter.  However, they lasted long enough to confuse the tally of Elvis songs that made it to Number 1.

Alan and I used different references to come up with our reports on Elvis’ Number 2 hits.  He actually went to his local library and accessed the microfiche records for every weekly Billboard Top 100/Hot 100 chart from 1956 to 1977 and recorded the rankings of the Elvis songs.  It took him almost a year to gather all this information.  I simply used a book titled The Billboard Book of Top 40 Hits by Joel Whitburn.  Every singer or group who ever had a hit is listed, along with a discography of their hits.  In the book, Whitburn acknowledged that for the period 1955 through July 1958, the highest chart position indicated for each song was its highest on any of the four Billboard charts.

So, to determine the highest rank that Elvis’ early records reached, I referenced all of the Billboard charts.   Alan referenced only the Top 100 chart, which is reasonable because it ultimately morphed into the Hot 100 chart that endures to this day.

                 

Original 1956 Picture Sleeves

I wouldn’t argue adamantly about the proper top ranking for most of the records where Alan and I had it different, but I would for “Hound Dog.”  As you may know, it was half of the biggest two-sided hit record in history.  Depending on how you look at it, “Hound Dog” was on the flip-side of “Don’t Be Cruel,” or vice-a-versa.  For this reason, Whitburn’s book went into great detail about how long both songs stayed at Number 1 on all four lists.  “Hound Dog” was Number 1 for four weeks on the Jukebox chart and five weeks on the Stores chart.

So, I rest my case.  “Hound Dog” spent nine weeks as Number 1 on two of the Billboard charts in operation during the period of its run.  They were well-established charts that had over a year-and-a-half of pedigree behind them.    In the summer of 1956, the Top 100 chart was only nine months old, and it is uncertain where it stood at that point in its ultimate elevation to top dog status.  So, if a song achieved Number 1 then on any of the four charts, it should be enough to claim that rank.  “Hound Dog” made it to the top on two of the charts, so that settles it for me.

If you aren’t convinced, call the folks at Graceland and see if they count “Hound Dog” as a Number 1 hit for Elvis.  They will probably laugh that you would even have to ask.


 Re-Release from 1959

[Editor's note:  Alan Hanson has since published a difinitive history of the chart positions of "Hound Dog" and "Don't Be Cruel" on his Elvis-History-Blog.  Check it out.]

 

©  2010    Philip R Arnold, Original Elvis Blogmeister    All Rights Reserved    www.ElvisBlog.net

Elvis, Elvis Presley, and Graceland are registered trademarks of Elvis Presley Enterprises, Inc.

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Posted in HISTORY, LISTS, Main Page, SONGS

75 Reasons We (Still) Love Elvis

Posted on January 23, 2010 by | Leave a comment

Like all of you, I am a big Elvis fan who recently celebrated his 75th birthday on January 8.  Perhaps you had an experience like I did on that day.  A number of friends sent me e-mails telling me to check out Elvis links on the web they thought would interest me.  You got some, too, didn’t you?

One friend suggested I check out www.spinner.com for their article “75 Reasons We (Still) Love Elvis.”  Spinner.com is a music website, but when I checked it today, their top three stories were about the bands Ting Tings and Mission of Burma and singer Jason Karaban.  So, it is safe to say that their sphere of interest generally doesn’t include music of the 50s, 60s or 70s.

In my opinion, the Spinner staff members who put together their list could not possibly be true Elvis fans.  They simply needed a total of 75 items, and they didn’t know enough about Elvis to come up with that many good ones.  Here are some of their stupidest reasons they supposedly still love Elvis:

#64 The NBA’s Memphis Grizzlies’ blue suede sneakers
#57 Luka Blooms’s version of “Can’t Help Falling in Love”
#54 Dexter Romweber, bastard son
#52 Bobbie Ann Mason’s brief “Penguin Live” bio
#41 Eminem, “Without Me”
#40 Other Elvises: Costello, Grbac, Stojko, Perkins
#37 Fine Young Cannibals’ version of “Suspicious Minds”
#36 Dead Kennedy’s version of “Viva Las Vegas”
#29 His sons-in-law: Nic Cage and the King of Pop
#21 Spinal Tap’s harmony-challenged rendition of “Heartbreak Hotel”
#12 Kim Jong Il’s man-crush

OK, they picked five other artists’ versions of famous Elvis songs and four other people who have the same Elvis first name.  What totally lame reasons to say they still love Elvis Presley.  How do you like the two ex-sons-in-law they picked?  Why not the fathers of Elvis’ four grandchildren:  Danny Keough and Michael Lockwood?

I had to Google Bobbie Ann Mason to find out what “Penguin Live” was all about.  It is a book about Elvis that must be terrible, because you can buy it on Amazon.com for 92ȼ new or 8ȼ used (Seriously. Shipping is $3.99).  Likewise, Wikipedia reveals that Dexter Romweber is a modern-day singer who affects an Elvis-style stage demeanor.  Yes, sir, those two certainly make me still love Elvis.

When I Googled Kim Jong Il and Elvis, at least a photo came up.  It was a Photoshopped picture from a parody website called Kim Jong Il Gallery in 2006.  I don’t know how Spinner.com derived a man-crush from this:

 

To be fair, about half of the Spinner.com list did make sense.  Here are some of the ones I like:

#74 Nickname: “The Memphis Flash
#71 Shaking hands with Nixon
#68 Vernon and Gladys
#67 Scotty Moore and Bill Black, hanging on for dear life
#61 Singing to a basset hound
#60 The “Jailhouse Rock” dance
#49 The American Eagle cape
#43 Graceland
#34 Sideburns
#25 The Elvis stamp
#18 “Elvis In Concert”
#16 Buying his black-and-pink “cat clothes” from Lansky’s on Beale Street
#8   “Elvis: That’s The Way It Is”
#6   The Million Dollar Quartet
#5   Grilled peanut butter and banana sandwiches
#3   “The ’68 Comeback”
#2   “That’s All Right”
#1   “Thank you… thank you vurry much!”

They actually did a pretty good job on the ones at the top of the list.  But, if you or I were to sit down and make our own list of reasons we still love Elvis, we would have no trouble coming up with more than 75 good ones.

I think I’ll give the list a try on his birthday next year – “The Top 76 Reasons ElvisBlog Loves Elvis.”  I promise you Dexter Romweber, Kim Jong Il and Michael Jackson will not be on it.

©  2010    Philip R Arnold, Original Elvis Blogmeister    All Rights Reserved    www.ElvisBlog.net

Elvis, Elvis Presley, and Graceland are registered trademarks of Elvis Presley Enterprises, Inc.

 

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Posted in LISTS, Main Page, WEBSITES WITH ELVIS CONTENT

Colonel Parker's Secret Rules for Elvis Scriptwriters

Posted on June 6, 2009 by | 1 Comment

Everybody knows that Colonel Parker killed Elvis’ chances of becoming a serious actor.  All Parker wanted was simple, light-weight plots with lots of songs.  To him, the movies were simply a means to sell soundtrack albums.  Of course, the films made a nice profit, too, for a long time, as the fans kept coming no matter what was served up to them.

What is not so well known is that Colonel Parker had a secret list of seven rules which all potential screenwriters had to comply with if they wanted their scripts to become Elvis movies.  Recently, Parker’s secret rules list was uncovered, and a friend of ElvisBlog divulged it to us before anyone else.  Let’s take a look at Colonel Parker’s seven rules for Elvis movies and note a few of the rare exceptions.

Rule #1:

Elvis plays the main character in the movie.  His occupation is one that allows him regular access to one of the following: race car, motorcycle, airplane, or speedboat.  A racing contest in one of these vehicles will occur near the end of the film, with Elvis winning the contest.

     

Wow, how many Elvis movies can you think of that fit this rule perfectly?  The Colonel really had those screenwriters trained, didn’t he?  I can think of only one race Elvis didn’t win.  Brutus, the 200 pound Great Dane, beat him in a race on the beach in Live A Little, Love A Little.

Rule #2:

Elvis must have a strong, All-American, regular guy kind of name… like Lucky Jackson, Rusty Wells, Mike McCoy or Tulsa McLean.

Of course, four smart screenwriters figured out the best way to have the Colonel pick their screenplay was to use those exact names for Elvis’ characters in Viva Las Vegas, Girl Happy, Spinout, and G.I. Blues.  My pick for the two worst names for Elvis characters are Toby Kwimper from Follow That Dream and Walter Gulick from Kid Gallahad.  I wonder how those two slipped through.

Rule #3:

Elvis’ character must be given ample instances to sing songs.  There will always be one or more of the following:  a party, carnival, soda shop, or public bazaar, thus giving Elvis an opportunity to perform in front of a crowd.

Well, as it turned out, there were other acceptable locations for Elvis to sing.  Bars and clubs showed up in a lot of Elvis movies, and he sang in all of them.  There were a few swimming pool scenes, too, and Elvis never missed a chance to sing there, either.

 

And, how about singing on the beach?  Elvis did a lot of that.  Sometimes it was at big parties, sometimes it was the more intimate two-people variety.  Either way, the music of a full band, nowhere in sight, backed him up.

Rule #4:

If the leading female character is not in love with Elvis at the beginning of the picture, she will be by the end of the film.

Although this rule was almost always followed, there was a strange variation of it that managed to get Colonel Parker’s approval.  In Spinout, three women in love with Elvis early in the story all end up marrying other men at the end of the picture.  It must have been one heck of a pitch that convinced Parker to go along with that odd development.

 

Rule #5:

The movie may have one male supporting role whose function is to be either Elvis’ friend or rival, occasionally providing comic relief.

Spinout managed to overload that rule with two buddies and a rival. 

Rule #6:

Every business venture, contest, race, lottery, scientific inquiry, game of chance, or bar-room wager that Elvis enters must be won by Elvis.

Believe it or not, there actually was a scientific inquiry in one of Elvis’ movies.  In Clambake,   Elvis tried to find a special hard coating to help his speedboat win a race.  He gave his invention a highly technical name: Goop. 

 

There was also one business venture that bombed for an Elvis character.  In Stay Away Joe, Elvis played a Native-American living on a reservation.  His people received a herd of cattle from the government under a program to prove that Indians on reservations were not lazy, heavy-drinking, girl-chasing screw-ups and could care for and grow the herd.  Unfortunately, Elvis and his Indian buddies had a big drunken party and barbequed their only bull.  So much for growing the herd.

Rule #7:

Elvis must engage in at least one fistfight per movie.

Usually, it was more than one fight in most of the Elvis movies.  Can you name one film that did not have a fight?  My favorite fight is in the soda shop scene in Loving You.  Elvis knocks the local smart-ass around pretty good while Elvis’ hit “Got a Lot of Living to Do” blasts from the jukebox the whole time.

Who knows where Elvis’ acting career would have gone if it wasn’t for Colonel Parker.  He even turned down a role for Elvis co-starring with Barbra Streisand in a major movie, A Star Is Born.  I think Parker also had an unwritten rule:  If anyone comes to Elvis with an idea for a serious acting role, kill it.

©  2009    Philip R Arnold, Original Elvis Blogmeister    All Rights Reserved    www.ElvisBlog.net

Editor’s Note:  If you ejoyed this article, hopefully you won't be too upset to learn that it is a work of fiction.  Colonel Parker did not have a list of rules for Elvis movies.  However, James Allenspach at Empty-Handed.com had one in a blog article five years ago.  It was the inspiration for this story.  You might want to check out his site at  http://www.empty-handed.com/archive/2004_03_22.html

 

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Posted in LISTS, Main Page, MOVIES

STRANGE GOOGLE SEARCHES THAT BROUGHT PEOPLE TO ELVISBLOG

Posted on April 26, 2009 by | Leave a comment

 

Elvis fans seem to be interested in every facet of his life, including some pretty obscure ones.  So, what do these folks do to satisfy their curiosity?  They Google it, of course.  When the Google page opens up with a list of the top ranked websites covering the subject, hopefully one of them will have the information you search for.  Apparently, ElvisBlog is now a favored source for many Elvis-related topics, including some pretty weird ones.  I became aware of this when someone linked to ElvisBlog from a Google search on “Elvis pimples.”

I can’t imagine why anyone would even care about Elvis’ pimples, but somebody did.  And guess where ElvisBlog showed up on the Google list?  #2, beaten by a site with this news release, “National Pimple Center To Stage The Largest Charity Show In Singapore Next Year.”  Wow, who knew there’s a National Pimple Center?  One of the scheduled entertainers at the show was an Elvis Tribute Artist, so Google was merely connecting the two words pimple and Elvis, even though they were not used together in the story.  Dead end.

On the other hand, ElvisBlog had a legitimate reference to Elvis pimples. In a June 1, 2008, column titled “Never Before Told Elvis Secrets,” I made fun of a 1977 Midnight Globe story that quoted Elvis’ stepbrother Rick Stanley.  One of his so-called revelations was this, “Until he was well into his 20s, Elvis had a terrible skin problem – just like a lot of young people.  Pimples were his curse.  He even had them on his back.”  I hope that information was of some value to the person who Googled.

From that point on, I saved other strange Elvis search topics on Google.  Here a few of the more interesting ones.

“Elvis impersonator movie where lady meets guy who looks like Elvis and she has a kid and she goes away with Elvis”:  This one certainly gets the award for the longest Google search topic about Elvis.  Does anybody know what movie she is describing?  I sure don’t.  ElvisBlog came up #1 on the results, but simply because it had used more of the key words in that long string than any other site did.  It doesn’t look like anything that Google found solved the mystery.

“is Elvis' body preserved?:  ElvisBlog could do no better than #8 on this one, but that’s fine by me.  Google simply found the words body and Elvis in the same article.  However, Elvis World-Japan actually got into the topic.  I was pleased with their quote, “Graceland CEO Jack Soden said there are no cryogenically preserved tissue samples of Elvis.”  But, then they went on to discuss other possible ways to clone Elvis.  No!  Please, please, no!

“Elvis fly sandwich”:  This probably shouldn’t be mentioned here, because it is not about a sandwich made of flies, as I originally thought.  It just sounded like that.  It was actually about the Fool’s Gold Sandwich, which Elvis flew from Memphis to Denver to get.  Google got it right, when the top of their list was the April 15, 2007, ElvisBlog article about this unique Elvis story.  The person who Googled this one didn’t have to go anywhere else to get the information they wanted.

“Elvis Presley chest hair”:  Sadly, nine different websites beat out ElvisBlog on the Google results for this one.  #3 was a site with an article titled, “Did Tom Jones Insure His Chest Hair?”  (The answer is yes – for $25 million.)  The ElvisBlog article on the Google list appeared just two weeks ago as part of the bare-chested Elvis story.

“Speedway, Viva Las Vegas and Easy Come, Easy Go, all have something in common what is it?” : Was the person who Googled that trying to get the answer to a trivia question that stumped her, or was she trying to stump Google?  If the latter, it worked.  None of the sites on the Google list gave the answer.  They were there because they had seven or eight of the words somewhere in their contents.  ElvisBlog had ten of the words to rank #1.  Does anyone know the answer to this question?

“diabetic Elvis impersonators”:  Why would anyone care?  And Google couldn’t find anything to cover the subject.  However, the site at the top of their list had an article with an interesting title, “Calling all Elvis and Popeye Impersonators.”  I had to read that one to find out about Popeye impersonators.

“what Elvis and Ann Margaret movie was translated into Italian?”:  Well, let’s see… There are so many choices.  I’ll just have to make a guess.  How about Viva Las Vegas?  Score another #1 for ElvisBlog with the March 23, 2008 article titled Delinquente del Rock & Roll, which covered the titles of all of Elvis’ movies on Italian DVDs.

“Ancient Egyptian Boonta”:  Sometimes when I see these search subjects, I try to guess what ElvisBlog articles the words have been pulled from.  Ancient Egyptian was easy; it came from my review of the movie Bubba Ho-Tep.  Boonta stumped me.  It turns out the Boonta Eve Pod Race from The Phantom Menace was the source for half the photos when we compared a Star Wars race with the Elvis race in Viva Las Vegas.  There really was a Boonta in ancient Etheopia, and it is covered by several sites that ranked ahead of ElvisBlog.

“black midget Elvis”:  Apparently there is no such thing.  Many sites, including ElvisBlog, made reference to both Black Elvis and Midget Elvis, but apparently no enterprising black midget has tried to become an Elvis Tribute Artist.  Will someone please step forward and fill this gaping void?

“what color pants did Elvis split while recording ‘Heartbreak Hotel’?”:  Another attempt to stump Google, and it worked.  There was nothing on their list that led to an answer.  To my knowledge, the only time Elvis split his pants was while performing “Poke Salad Annie” and wearing a jumpsuit on March 21, 1976, in Cincinnati.  Although this was covered in Elvis Commentary Mini-Nuggets #7, Google missed it.  Instead, they found a combination of words from the search topic, including Bill Black’s split from Elvis.  I’ll still take the #1 rank on their list, thank you.

“Elvis picking his nose”:  We might as well end this column on a high note.  Not one choice on the Google list actually addressed this subject.  They had references to Elvis, and nose, and picking, but fortunately picking always referred to a guitar.  As I said at the beginning, Elvis fans seem interested in knowing about every facet of his life, but I think we’d be OK if we skipped this one.

Well, that covers about half of my list of strange Elvis searches on Google, so I guess someday there will be a Part 2.  It occurred to me that maybe some of the folks who did these weird searches and then linked to ElvisBlog may have become regular readers.  If so, I hope you didn’t mind me making fun of your stupid search topics.
 

©  2009    Philip R Arnold, Original Elvis Blogmeister    All Rights Reserved    www.ElvisBlog.net

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Posted in COOL STUFF OUT THERE IN ELVISWORLD, LISTS, Main Page, THE MOST UNUSUAL ELVIS ARTICLES ON THE WEB

MESSAGES ON THE GRACELAND WALL

Posted on November 30, 2008 by | Leave a comment

 

Have you ever visited Graceland and written a message on the fieldstone wall that surrounds the property?   This phenomenon started while Elvis was still alive, and the grounds keepers worked diligently to keep the wall clean.  After Elvis died, the volume of fan graffiti proved overwhelming, and the estate decided to leave the wall alone.  Only crude messages were pressure-washed off.  The rest would last a year or so until exposure to sun and rain faded them, giving newer visitors a chance to add their thoughts.

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A few years ago I purchased a small book called “Dear Elvis:  Graffiti from Graceland,” written by Daniel Wright, and It contained a selection of messages from fans.  Mr. Wright returned to Memphis numerous times between 1989 and 1996 to record and photograph the ever changing Graceland graffiti for his book, and I would like to present some of the best here.

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If this was Disneyworld, I’d buy a pair of Elvis ears!

 

Elvis.  I wish I was your belt buckle for a day.  Gina

 

Please quit writin’ on my wall.  Thank you, thank you very much.  “E”

 

George Burns is bringing cigars and news about Ann-Margret!

 

Elvis, yesterday I realized how much I love you, so I broke off my engagement to Adam.  Please come home to Mama! – Monique

 

Elvis, you had great taste in women.  Priscilla is a babe! – Dave

 

Elvis kicks butt!

 

You had a weird decorator.  Thank God he didn’t write music! – Connie

 

Elvis, Elvis, let me be.                                                                                                

Keep your pelvis far from me!

 

Elvis, thanks for helping me celebrate my fortieth birthday.  Too bad you missed the party!  Sheila

 

Elvis, I’m bearing your ghost child, and I’m confused because I’m a man!

 

We love you, and so does the rest of Oz! – Melissa

 

You wouldn’t have liked the way Caddies look today, anyway. – Mary Lou

 

“If you can’t find a partner, use a wooden chair”?!?  Ouch!

 

AGB – Atomic Graceland Babes

 

I can’t believe I’m doing this!  Please don’t sandblast me! – Riedy

 

Elvis makes me hot! – Jerrie

 

Dear Gladys & Vernon – YOU DONE GOOD!

 

Elvis I came for a short visit, but a part of me will always remain… Jen

 

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Elvis, it’s me again in ’93.  Remember?

 

Hey Elvis:  Lisa Marie made a big mistake.  Come back and straighten her out.  Mary, 1994

 

Dear God:  Bolton and Cyrus for Presley?!?  Let’s TRADE!!!

 

Can Elvis come out and play??  Jewels

 

Elvis, please call Kevin.  He heard you were dead and he’s BUMMED.

 

Elvis, your burning love left a hole in my heart.

 

THANK YOU dear Elvis for all the happiness and the miracle.  Wish I could stay forever.  I will come back… Hatice

 

I love you now and forever.  I will be with you someday.  I will dream of you until then. — Jen

 

We travelled a long way, but, for you, we’d do it again in a minute!  T.L.C!

 

You are fantastic!  I never got to see you, but I have come to Graceland each August for 15 years.  It still hurts, but the love from your fans all over this world helps mend these broken hearts.  Thank you, Love, for your music and all the wonderful things you did and will forever do.  You bring the world together in friendship and love.  The world is full of beautiful people.  Elvis, you are the most beautiful in every way.  The world has learned, and always will learn, much from you and be grateful always.  Till next year.  You sing forever in our hearts.

 

©   2008   Philip R Arnold, Original Elvis Blogmeister   All Rights Reserved   www.ElvisBlog.net

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Posted in LISTS

CLEANING OUT MY FILE OF LISTS

Posted on November 2, 2008 by | Leave a comment
 

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You have probably seen different types of Rock & Roll lists presented in the media. Over the years, I’ve been able to write a full ElvisBlog column about three of them.  They all had to be categories that interested me, of course; serious polls like “The 50 Most Awesomely Dead Rock Stars” and the “Sexiest Rock & Roll Artists of All Time,” and the “100 Most Outrageous Moments in Rock & Roll.”  There was lots of Elvis stuff in all three, so they were fun to write about.

However, the rest of the lists I’ve come across have been put in a file folder for extended languishing.  Now it is time to empty the contents of that list file and make a few comments as we go.

The results I am happiest with are on a list from Q Magazine: the “Top Ten Singers Ever”.  Elvis heads the list, just ahead of Aretha Franklin and Frank Sinatra.  Aretha was the only woman.  Number 4 was a big favorite of mine, Otis Redding.  I remember going to parties in the late 60s and dancing to Otis Redding songs for hours.  If your music horizon doesn’t go back far enough to include Otis Redding albums, you need to learn about this great performer.  Get some of his CDs; his live concert recordings are incredible.  Number 10 on the list is Tim Buckley, and I don’t think I’ve ever listened to his music.  I guess I need to follow my own advice and get a Tim Buckley CD and find out why he ranked so high.

Here is the award winner for the list with the longest name: “Best Ever Acting Performance By A Musician,” put out by Contact Music.  Elvis got nudged out by Frank Sinatra for his performance in From Here To Eternity.  We all know Frank did a superb job in that role, so I’ve got no problem with Elvis coming in second for his work in Jailhouse Rock.  But, look at who came in next: Eminem, in his only acting job, 8 Mile.  I haven’t seen it, so I really can’t say anything, but if he’s such a good actor, why hasn’t he made any more movies?  Even though I’m pleased that Elvis’ acting in Jailhouse Rock was so esteemed, I can’t imagine why Elvis in King Creole didn’t make the Top 10 on this list.  For my money, the best acting job Elvis ever did was in King Creole.

Billboard has done a number of lists, and they have some credibility when it comes to making their picks.  However, they won’t get me to accept Elvis as #4 on their list of “The 100 All-Time Top Artists.”  Maybe I won’t quibble with The Beatles being picked as #1, but Madonna and Elton John are not above Elvis. He wasn’t the only one given a bum rank.  The Rolling Stones came in #10 – behind Whitney Houston, Janet Jackson and Mariah Carey.  No way.

VH1 produced two of the lists in my file, and one of them just amazes me.  They selected the “50 Greatest Teen Idols,” and you’ve got to figure Elvis would do great in a poll like that, right?  Well, he did not.  In fact, he didn’t make the cut.  I read that list three times to make sure, but Elvis’ name was not to be found.  That’s ridiculous.  They had top winners Britney Spears (1), David Cassidy (2), and N’Sync (3).  All big teen idols for sure, but nothing compared to the idolatry Elvis received in the 50s.  How in the world did anyone think Rick Springfield, Scott Baio and Corey Feldman were bigger teen idols than Elvis?  To show you how skewed against older icons this stupid list was, it did not even include James Dean.

To their credit, VH1 partially made up for their omission by placing Elvis #3 in another list: “100 Greatest Pop Culture Icons.”  He was behind Oprah Winfrey and Superman, and ahead of Lucille Ball.  They sure must have had an older group of judges for this one.  There were older icons all over this list.  I’ll bet that when the judges picked Elvis, they were thinking about him in white jumpsuit and cape saying, “Thank you, thank you very much.”

I just noticed something interesting on one of the pages in my list file.  It shows that VH1 has also produced “The Greatest: 40 Hot Rock Star Girlfriends” and “The Greatest: 100 Most Wanted Bodies.”  Elvis had dynamite girlfriends and young Elvis has to rank pretty high in that bodies list.  I need to check out these two polls and see if there is enough there for another column.  They sure sound interesting.  Don’t know how I missed them before.

 

© 2008  Philip R Arnold, Original Elvis Blogmeister   All Rights Reserved  www.ElvisBlog.net

 

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Posted in LISTS

ELVIS STOCK PORTFOLIO

Posted on April 29, 2007 by | Leave a comment

Back on August 16, 2002, cable network CNN did something interesting to commemorate the 25th anniversary of Elvis’ death.  It ran an article on one of its websites – www.money.cnn.com — titled Viva the Elvis Portfolio.  The article started like this:  “Elvis may have left the building, but you can find a way to make him stay in your stock portfolio.”

 

CNN/Money listed 13 stocks for Elvis fans who wanted to invest in the King.  The stocks had a connection to Elvis, although a few would have to be considered a stretch.  Nike (NKE) had one of the strongest connections, because it had commercials running at the time using Elvis’ song  “A Little Less Conversation.”  Walt Disney (DIS) was another, because its recent hit film Lilo & Stitch featured six Elvis songs.  NBNA (KRB) also had a strong connection, because it was the bank that had issued Elvis credit cards.

 

Other good choices included:  American Greetings (AM) that produced greeting cards and Christmas tree ornaments with Elvis’ image; Department 56 (DFS) that marketed Graceland Christmas collectibles; International Game Technology (IGT), manufacturers of Elvis slot machines; MGM (MGM), the producer of Elvis movies; and Hilton Hotels, where he performed in Las Vegas.

 

In my opinion, the other five companies had fairly weak connections to Elvis:  Mattel (MAT), General Motors (GM), J.M. Smuckers (SJM), Mead/Westvaco (MWV), and Guitar Center (GTRC).  Mattel had a Barbie Doll wearing a poodle skirt with “Elvis” stitched on it.  Elvis owned Cadillacs made by GM.  Smuckers made grape jelly and peanut butter.  Mead/Westvaco, a huge paper company, had a tiny part of their business coming from Elvis calendars.  And Guitar Center was a place where Elvis ‘could’ have bought a guitar according to CNN/Money.

 

What if any loyal Elvis fans had followed CNN’s advice on August 16, 2002 and invested in the eight stocks with true Elvis connections.  How well would they have done? 

 

Keep in mind the trend in the stock market at that time.  Because of 9-11 and the collapse of the dot-com bubble, the market had been in decline for almost two-and-a-half years.  Most stocks and the major indexes bottomed out during the fourth quarter of 2002, and the trend since has been generally up.  So, we would definitely expect the ‘Elvis stocks’ to have made money.  Here are the results:

 

                                   8/16/02            4/26/07            Change

 

Nike                             $20.76             $53.84             +159%

Walt Disney                  $15.08             $35.18             +133%

American Greetings       $16.93             $25.61             + 51%

Int. Game Technology    $15.48             $39. 50            +155%

MGM                            $18.33             $70.53             +285%

Hilton Hotels                 $11.85             $35.19              +197%

 

Wow!  That’s impressive.  The CNN/Money article never actually advised people to buy these stocks, but that sure would have been a good call.  Two stocks could not be listed above because they no longer exist as separate corporate entities.  NBNA was part of the merger/acquisition trend to bigger banks, and Department 56 became part of the Lennox Group family of giftware and housewares. 

 

Stock performance is often measured against the major market indexes.  For the same period, the Dow is up 49%, the S&P 500 is up 61%, and the NASDAQ is up 88%.  So, relative to the broad market, the group of ‘Elvis stocks’ did great.  

 

Today, you actually can invest in Elvis.  EPE, Elvis’ estate, is now 85% owned by Robert Sillerman’s media empire CKX Inc.  (CKXE).  Back on March 20, 2005, in an Elvisblog article, I recommended buying some CKX stock.  It was selling at $26.73 at the time.  How good a tip was that?  Three months later, the stock was selling for $13.72.  Since then, it has bounced around and now sits at $11.73.  I don’t get it.  CSX also owns American Idol, and that is a money generating machine.  With Elvis Cirque du Soleil coming, as well as the projected new attractions at Graceland, I still feel like CKX has to be a growth stock.  However, it might be smart to follow CNN/Money’s recommendations rather than mine.

 

©  2007   Philip R Arnold   All Rights Reserved   www.elvisblog.net

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Posted in LISTS, THE MOST UNUSUAL ELVIS ARTICLES ON THE WEB