One of the interesting things I do when reposting old ElvisBlog articles is to click on all the included links and see if they still work. On this post from 2010, I took issue with something published on www.spinner.com. But, when I clicked on its link, nothing came up, so I went to Wikipedia. Spinner was sold to AOL in 1999, combined with another site in 2002, revamped in 2008, and shut down completely in 2008.
I would like to think it served them right for being so stupid about Elvis, as you will see below.
Like all of you, I am a big Elvis fan who recently celebrated his 75th birthday on January 8. Perhaps you had an experience like I did on that day. A number of friends sent me e-mails telling me to check out Elvis links on the web they thought would interest me. You got some, too, didn’t you?
One friend suggested I check out www.spinner.com for their article “75 Reasons We (Still) Love Elvis.” Spinner.com is a music website, but when I checked it today, their top three stories were about the bands Ting Tings and Mission of Burma and singer Jason Karaban. So, it is safe to say that their sphere of interest generally doesn’t include music of the 50s, 60s or 70s.
In my opinion, the Spinner staff members who put together their list could not possibly be true Elvis fans. They simply needed a total of 75 items, and they didn’t know enough about Elvis to come up with that many good ones. Here are some of their stupidest reasons they supposedly still love Elvis:
#64 The NBA’s Memphis Grizzlies’ blue suede sneakers
#57 Luka Blooms’s version of “Can’t Help Falling in Love”
#54 Dexter Romweber, bastard son
#52 Bobbie Ann Mason’s brief “Penguin Live” bio
#41 Eminem, “Without Me”
#40 Other Elvises: Costello, Grbac, Stojko, Perkins
#37 Fine Young Cannibals’ version of “Suspicious Minds”
#36 Dead Kennedy’s version of “Viva Las Vegas”
#29 His sons-in-law: Nic Cage and the King of Pop
#21 Spinal Tap’s harmony-challenged rendition of “Heartbreak Hotel”
#12 Kim Jong Il’s man-crush
OK, they picked five other artists’ versions of famous Elvis songs and four other people who have the same Elvis first name. What totally lame reasons to say they still love Elvis Presley. How do you like the two ex-sons-in-law they picked? Why not the fathers of Elvis’ four grandchildren: Danny Keough and Michael Lockwood?
I had to Google Bobbie Ann Mason to find out what “Penguin Live” was all about. It is a book about Elvis that must be terrible, because you can buy it on Amazon.com for 92ȼ new or 8ȼ used (Seriously. Shipping is $3.99). Likewise, Wikipedia reveals that Dexter Romweber is a modern-day singer who affects an Elvis-style stage demeanor. Yes, sir, those two certainly make me still love Elvis.
When I Googled Kim Jong Il and Elvis, at least a photo came up. It was a Photoshopped picture from a parody website called Kim Jong Il Gallery in 2006. I don’t know how Spinner.com derived a man-crush from this:
To be fair, about half of the Spinner.com list did make sense. Here are some of the ones I like:
#74 Nickname: “The Memphis Flash
#71 Shaking hands with Nixon
#68 Vernon and Gladys
#67 Scotty Moore and Bill Black, hanging on for dear life
#61 Singing to a basset hound
#60 The “Jailhouse Rock” dance
#49 The American Eagle cape
#25 The Elvis stamp
#18 “Elvis In Concert”
#16 Buying his black-and-pink “cat clothes” from Lansky’s on Beale Street
#8 “Elvis: That’s The Way It Is”
#6 The Million Dollar Quartet
#5 Grilled peanut butter and banana sandwiches
#3 “The ’68 Comeback”
#2 “That’s All Right”
#1 “Thank you… thank you vurry much!”
They actually did a pretty good job on the ones at the top of the list. But, if you or I were to sit down and make our own list of reasons we still love Elvis, we would have no trouble coming up with more than 75 good ones.
I think I’ll give the list a try on his birthday next year – “The Top 76 Reasons ElvisBlog Loves Elvis.” I promise you Dexter Romweber, Kim Jong Il and Michael Jackson will not be on it.
If you’ve got time on your hands because of the Covid 19 shutdowns, here’s an exercise for you. How about compiling your own list of 25 reasons you still love Elvis. If you send it to firstname.lastname@example.org, I’ll publish it next week. This could be interesting.
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